


The Things Dave Strider Will Never Be Able To Say

by lonedCourier



Series: The chronicles of a sad boys heartbreak [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Heartbreak, Implied Relationships, M/M, Pesterlog, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:30:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonedCourier/pseuds/lonedCourier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider is very in love with a boy who's moved on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things Dave Strider Will Never Be Able To Say

**Author's Note:**

> i dont usually post things like this but i really need to do some venting because im a sad egg  
> i guess this is kind of a preview for a series im going to do?  
> so here goes

\-- turntechGodhead[TG] has opened a PRIVATE memo. --

TG: so

TG: i guess this is just going to be me talking to myself

TG: because actually telling you this shit wouldnt be good or healthy for either of us

TG: instead im going to spew word vomit to myself until i feel better

TG: or something

TG: i dont know

TG: okay

TG: here goes the things i want to say but cant

TG: for starters

TG: i miss you

TG: i miss you a lot

TG: i think about you more than i should

TG: i type out texts to you often and delete them

TG: its kinda pathetic that i still love you isnt it

TG: youve moved on and youre with someone else

TG: youre happy but

TG: im still waiting for the day where they break your heart and i come in and save the day and you realize you never really stopped loving me

TG: how fucked up is that

TG: its really goddamned fucked up

TG: you dont love me anymore and yet im here waiting for you and hoping youll want me

TG: im waiting for someone ill never get a chance with again

TG: and believe me when i say that i try to tell myself to stop doing this shit

TG: i try i really do

TG: i try telling myself that i dont love you

TG: its stupid to try and convince myself that im not in love with you

TG: because i love every single thing about you

TG: none of my feelings dulled or stopped

TG: i just got better at pretending

TG: like fuck

TG: my heart still skips a beat when i see your face

TG: even though were not talking or keeping much contact

TG: its not helping

TG: this ridiculous thing to try to help me get over you isnt helping and it never will

TG: i know you dont have feelings for me anymore

TG: youre not talking to me with a big toothy grin on your face

TG: your heart isnt skipping a beat because you miss me just as much as i miss you

TG: you arent desperate for that one line of text that makes you feel almost okay 

TG: and its not like i dont know that if we ever tried things again itd be a mess

TG: it would be the biggest mess but god what id give to kiss you again

TG: or to have you tell me you love me and mean it

TG: or to have you miss me so much your heart aches

TG: i can pretend all i want

TG: and i can say things i dont mean

TG: but the truth is that

TG: im in love with you

TG: and ive never felt like this for anyone

TG: im never going to stop being in love with you and it breaks my heart

TG: it hurts like hell dude

TG: it drives me fucking insane that youre with someone else but i cant do anything about it im not a jackass

TG: im not some douche thats going to get in the way of your happiness

TG: of course i want you happy

TG: i just

TG: wish it was with me

TG: its gross and selfish but i miss how good we were together

TG: we matched up near perfectly

TG: i really felt like i could have spent my entire life with you 

TG: but i guess i was the only one who felt that 

TG: i miss the way you cared

TG: i miss the way you wanted me

TG: i screw things up and i should have been better

TG: but it doesnt change the fact that i love you and i love you more than ive ever loved anything

TG: i find stupid excuses to message you

TG: of course i already have your address why the fuck would i need to ask

TG: when i get messages back from you even though theyre meaningless and without any feeling

TG: im so pathetic that i start crying

TG: i start crying because youre talking to me and its not the same

TG: i throw my phone 

TG: i try to control my hard breathing

TG: i dig my teeth into my lips

TG: i do my best to refrain from loud pained screams i desperately wish i could let out

TG: then i reply with a thanks

TG: like everythings cool and im fine with this

TG: like im fine with everything

TG: so there it is

TG: the things ill never be able to say

TG: man i really need some new hobbies

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] has closed up the memo. --

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

TG: hey uh  
TG: weird thing  
TG: i completely lost your address again  
TG: would you mind sending it over  
TG: i need to drop your things off  
EB: oh yeah, sure.  
EB: alright, i texted it to you!  
TG: thanks  
TG: and sorry again about that  
TG: i keep misplacing it when i write it down  
TG: my minds been all over the place with all the sicknasty cool shit ive been doing recently  
TG: like wicked busy bro  
TG: as busy as a white mom on black friday trying to look for a good deal on crocs  
EB: hehe.  
EB: no worries dude.  
TG: right  
TG: cool  
EB: is that it?  
EB: dave?  
TG: yeah sorry just  
TG: super busy forgot to type hahaha  
TG: were good  
TG: im good  
TG: later  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] is now offline! --  
EB: see ya.


End file.
